life in an apartment is a bit of a crap shoot, and you dont get to roll the dice - your neighbors do, and for the year and a month that ive lived here ive had pretty crappy neighbors living next to me.
first it was just simply a quiet, overweight, middle-aged, woman who i hardly ever heard from or saw. but, boy oh boy, could i smell her. she was quite the smoker and our ceilings may be thick in this building, but our walls are not, and there were times when i thought she was hiding in my pantry smoking away. finally she was kicked out for smoking on her ‘non-smoking’ lease, but she was replaced with a new kind of nightmare…
at first i thought that my new neighbor was going to be just fine. she was young and i didnt really see her coming or going much at all. i knew that she didnt smoke (my landlord makes sure that new tenants are non-smokers), in fact i hardly even noticed that i had a neighbor at all. then other people started showing up…
first it was her friend who just showed up one day and hasnt seemed to have left for about 3 months now. and of course, shes a smoker. but she doesnt smoke in the apartment, that part was well communicated to the new tenant, but rather she goes outside of the side door and smokes, which is about 2 feet from my living room window. im sure you can understand what that smells like.
now, this isnt a complaint because i know that im guilty of this at times as well, but she does tend to listen to her music fairly loud. fine, no big deal. as long as its at appropriate times. maybe i should mention that her music of choice is death metal.
then one day, the boyfriend shows up riding his wannabe harley, just as loud (or even louder), but even sillier looking. hes got a shaved head (not like mine, more like a skinhead’s), tats up his neck and onto the side of his face, and the stature of brick wall. weve taken to calling him, meathead.
one friday night around 2am i heard the two of them coming home from the bar (my windows are right at ground level along the alley to the side door). they stopped in front of my bedroom window and i could hear meathead reassuring her about something. then all of a sudden there was that awful gurgling noise followed by that wonderful sound of puke splattering on the asphalt. this lasted a good 10 minutes before they decided to move inside her apartment and try to contain the downpour in some place more appropriate than my windowsill. needless to say, i slept with the windows closed that night. weve since taken to calling her, the puker.
just this last saturday night meathead and the puker again came home from the bar late, but this time it was with an entire entourage. they were in their apartment yelling and laughing pretty darn loud, and i would have let that slide (since its a saturday night and they are inside her apartment), but then some of them moved out the side door so they could smoke. and, of course, they thought that it was perfectly reasonable to continue to communicate at the same volume they were using when they were in the apartment. but it wasnt. especially because brenda and i had to get out of bed by 630 (just 3 and a half hours away) to run in the race for the cure (another topic for another post). so, i went out to my living room and through the window politely asked them to keep it down. lets just say that the response was less than polite.
now, i try to be an extremely tolerant neighbor. i know that i live downtown, with a ton of young people around, in an apartment building, and that my expectations of others should be affected accordingly. i will put up with your shit for a long time and tolerate the little things, but once you cross that line… you are fucked. whether she knew it or not, the puker crossed that line when either meathead or one of his fucker friends decided to mouth off to me instead of apologizing and shutting the hell up.
since saturday night my landlord has talked with her in person and she has been served with a legal notice (her third since moving in next door). ive already been reassured by both the building manager and my landlord that her lease will not be renewed when it comes up and that if there is another problem she will be evicted. unfortunately for me, her lease doesnt expire until the end of march.
what do you think the chances are that im going to just sit back and wait for her lease to expire?
-b