Mindless Drivel

hmmm, the sound of blue is in the air.

-b

another picture included.  this time its nichole’s new favorite t-shirt.

so, my plans on getting up early to take care of shit before i got to work today were thwarted yet again.  not by anything in particular, just by my lack of energy and ability to get up with my alarm.  alarms, the curse of the civilized world.  i think this was the first time ive actually set the damn thing in the last 2 mths. 

so, here i sit yet again at 1045am in this horrible groggy state trying to wake up with my cereal in my 90 degree oven of an apartment.  i got seriously spoiled by this week’s 60s, 70s, and even 80 degree temps.  i thought the 100s of last week were gone and a thing of the past, but i can tell just by how it feels at this early hour that its going to be another scorcher.  and to think that for some crazy reason all the stores seem to sold out of their portable swamp coolers.  why on earth would that happen?

need some more lists.  anyone have any ideas for some good, short, random lists?

-b

to all my loyal readers out there (both of you), i apologize for not writing anything of substance for many weeks.  things have been a bit dry around here, well, thats not exactly true, ive had ideas, but just not the inspiration or motivation to sit down and gush them out.  i guess ive been in a non-gushing mood as of late.  hopefully my small additions to my music and book lists have kept you somewhat satisfied.  all thats gonna change now, my fans are demanding it.  they want more substance, more meat, more mindless gushing.  so you will have it.  just remember you asked for it.

first, lets touch on this week’s ’scope.

"My brother Tom is a real estate agent.  Lately he’s been noticing that a lot of people are suffereing from what he calls IDD–Intention Deficit Disorder.  They act as if they really want to buy or sell a house, but then never get past the first few fledgling steps toward that end.  Their good intentions get derailed by modest challenges.  I want to make sure that you Aquarians don’t develop a case of IDD in the coming weeks.  The astrological omens suggest that you could fall prey to wandering around amilessly unless you add a large does of steel to your will"

ok, then.  many ways to take this…of course, its a ’scope.  im gonn rule out the obvious, i dont have any interest in purchasing a house right now, so its not about that.  now, wandering aimlessly?  i do that all the time, how the hell do you think i wound up in denver?  maybe this is a particular time that i shouldnt be wandering aimlessly.  maybe theres something, or somebody, out there thats got my number and if i begin wandering aimlessly, i may end up getting smacked by them.  i feel like im just spouting at the mouth now, so i think its time to move on to the next topic…

which is…

hmmm…stuck again.  trying to do this a little more free-flow stream of consciousness style, but it doesnt really seem to be working….so back to the ole school for me..

you tell me you like the taste, you just need an excuse, you tell me it calms your nerves, you just think it looks cool, you tell me you want to be different, you just change for the same, you tell me its only natural, you just need the proof, did you fucking get it?  its in my eyes and it doesnt look that way to me, in my eyes, you tell me that nothing matters, you’re just fucking scared, you tell me that i’m better, you just hate yourself, you tell me that you like her, you just wish you did, you tell me that i make no difference, at least im fuckin’ trying!!!!  What the fuck have you done?!!

plan on doing a little more writing for Babblog in the coming weeks, so keep your eyes out for anything random over there.  you should be checking out the site weekly anyway, theres just so much great random stuff its worth the 10 minute detour.  im hoping that posting this out there will hold me to doing more writing over there as well.

the two included photos were taking by a friend on the eve of the summer solstice from the inyo/white mountains in california.  the first one is the sun setting over the sierra nevadas to the west and this final shot is the moon rising over the desert mountains accross the state border in nevada.  this is the same area that the bristlecone pines live.  you wonder how many thousands of these they have witnessed and if they can even begin to remember the more special ones.

b

woke up yesterday very disoriented.  probably had a lot to do with the 13 hour hibernation i had just come out of, but it also had something to do with waking up in denver and not really expecting to. 

coming back here after having spent a dense week in la threw off my rhythm.  spending so much time with friends and family and then returning here to a world, which for some reason feels so different, just sent me to a weird place, and trying to reconcile these two worlds created a paradox in my mind.  but what helped me come to terms with this thought was the realization that they arent two different worlds - they are the same.  just because the life that im living appears to have changed since moving out here, doesnt mean that it has, because it clearly hasnt.  its the same life, just like its the same world.

and what i really need to do, is work on combining these "two worlds" and realizing that there is no rhythm to throw off.

-b

gettin antsy.  about time to get outta the socal bubble and head home, not really doing much now, just sittin around, not moving forward with anything.  in fact, i feel like im starting to move backwards with some things.

more past thoughts… 

Ok, I’m now brain dead.                    9-26-95

Today, I was pleasantly surprised by someone whom I had labeled a ’slacker.’  It made me feel good.  I’m not sure why, but it just did.                9-26-95

I feel like I’m growing up with a permanent scowl on my face.  It seems like its taking more and more to get me to smile.  Oh well.          9-26-95

One year ago today I drove out of LA.  What have I learned in this year?  I’ve learned that you can run, but you can’t hide.            10-2-95

Go Angels!            10-2-95

I think I’m a total dick to work for.  The phrase ‘control freak’ comes to mind.  I’m bossy, pushy and just in general, an asshole.  Maybe I should work on that.       10-3-95

Everyone sits so straight on the bus.  Taking the most care not to make eye contact.  Why are we so afraid of one another?                10-3-95

-b

went to amoeba records in hollywood yesterday and set a new record on how much i was able to spend in 60 minutes.  absurd really.  if youve never been to any of their locations, then go.  make a special trip to berkeley, sf, or la and check it out for yourself.  their used bins are like taking candy from a baby.

back to reruns…

Sometimes I lose myself when I listen to music.  I just sit there listening, then my thoughts begin to wander.  Before I know it the song is over.            9-17-95

Its weird sitting in the Metro every morning with all of these people you’ve never seen before.  They all converge on the same car, but where do they all go?  In a way they have linked themselves through the train.  I don’t know, I’m having a hard time conveying my thoughts into words this morning.                      9-20-95

Justice.  Think about that word.  Think about what it means (or at least what its supposed to).  Now, say it over and over.  Justice.  Justice.  Justice.  Justice.  Justice.  Is it just me or does it really start to sound like you’re saying, "Just - is."  Is that a coincidence or am I just making this whole thing up?                 9-26-95

-b